An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Buddy didn’t move.
Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull.” Buddy didn’t respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Jennie, pull.” Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull.” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”
Q: Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ?
A: He wanted to grow mash potatoes!
Q: What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
A: You take me for grunted.
Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow to pasture.
Q: Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”?
A: Because it was always running out of the pen.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.
Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
Camper: Is it easy to milk a cow?
Farmer: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it.
Farmer: Cows are not good dancers.
Camper: How do you know?
Farmer: They have two left feet!
Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Camper: Sure I’ve heard of cows.
Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.
Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!
Q: Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
A: Because their horns don’t work.