Q: What’s the difference between a dead trombonist in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A: The country singer might have been on his way to a recording session.
Q: Why aren’t tubas used in country/western bands?
A: Because they are HEAVY METAL!
Q: Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ?
A: He wanted to grow mash potatoes!
Q: What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
A: You take me for grunted.
Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow to pasture.
Q: Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”?
A: Because it was always running out of the pen.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.
Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
John was hard at work with the broom in his family’s tent.
His mother came in and said, ‘That’s nice. Are you sweeping out the tent?’
‘No,’ John answered. ‘I’m sweeping out the dirt.’
Cindy and Mindy were walking through a field. Suddenly they saw a huge bull heading toward them. Cindy started shaking.
‘Don’t act so scared,’ her friend said.
‘I’m not acting!’ Cindy muttered.
What has 72 legs and 26 teeth?
The first row at a Willie Nelson concert!
How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to do it and one to sing a song reminiscing about all
the good times he had with the old bulb.
What happens if you play country music backwards?
your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you
get out of prison.
Camper: Is it easy to milk a cow?
Farmer: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it.
Farmer: Cows are not good dancers.
Camper: How do you know?
Farmer: They have two left feet!
Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Camper: Sure I’ve heard of cows.
Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.
Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!
Q: Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
A: Because their horns don’t work.