Farmers Daughters Dates

Posted on 17th October 2010 in Uncategorized

There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered the late teens, the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.

This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, “Hi, my name’s Joe. I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, “My name’s Eddie. I’m here for Betty. We’re gonna get some spaghetti. Is she ready?” Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, “Hi, my name’s Chuck…” And the farmer shot him.

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How are you feeling

Posted on 17th October 2010 in Uncategorized

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” asked the lawyer.

Farmer Brown responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the…”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’!”

Farmer Brown said, “Well I had just gotten Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Brown’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”

Brown thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.”

He continued, “I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.”

“Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.”

Finally, farmer Brown came to the end of the story. “The patrolman looked at me and said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are YOU feeling’?”

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